An' before this, I swear, I never realized how often we slap ass on the field. One more guy pops me with a 'good play' an' I'm droppin' him. Or I'm gonna blow my wad. I can't tell anymore.I can't figure a lot of things. While I'm one the field, I can keep my mind on the game. But as soon as I hit the sideline, I'm lost. Is this still a guilt thing or I'm I just one of those demented assholes who can only get off if someone gets hurt? Is it anyone or did I hurt Lisa because I'm really inta guys?. Waise to hamare ghar ka bahut bada business hai, par meri sasural mein koi nahi chahta ke mera dewar jo bhi kamaye wo apni biwi ko de. Main apni saas ki laadli hun, kyun ke dahej se bhar kar aayee thi, so wo bhi yahi chahti hain dewar ki saari kamai mujhe hi mile. Ye baat maine saaf-saaf tantrik se kahi. Us par usne poochha, sirf paisa hi ya kuchh aur bhi chahti hai apne dewar se…dekh sach batana main sara bhoot-bhavishye janta hun. Main phir bhi anjaan ban kar poochha…aur kya baba. To usne. I felt stranded and lost. Exposed and manipulated. All I really wanted to do was go out and have a good time being the person I want most to be. I dressed cute because of the occasion and made myself up to make me feel good. I felt trapped in my femininity.As two hours quickly passed I decided to arrive slightly earlier than planned. Before going up to his room in the hotel I stopped by an ATM machine and withdrew as much as my bank would allow me. My reasoning was that I could offer this guy. The night Amber stayed over with us was the night the physical taboo we adhered to disappeared, it was as if we had been teasing ourselves over the years, and we relaxed and enjoyed our taboo fruits and let it be witnessed by Amber, who was the principle and prime mover, she herself being no stranger to taking her brother as her lover.We lay on my bed in our knickers and t-shirt, it was a warm night and this aided in keeping us cool, but part of the heat was Amber’s expectation of sleeping with.
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